Respect in 2012

Quick Review: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer traded words with President Obama after she greeted him at a Phoenix airport Wednesday. Brewer and Obama "spoke intensely for a few minutes" after he landed at Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport, according to a White House pool report. At one point, the GOP governor shook her finger at the president."He was a little disturbed about my book," Brewer told a reporter after the incident, referring to her political memoir, "Scorpions for Breakfast." In the book, Brewer depicted Obama as "patronizing" during an earlier meeting."I said to him that I have all the respect in the world for the office of the president," Brewer said. "The book is what the book is. I asked him if he read the book. He said he read the excerpt. So."Brewer said Obama told her "that he didn't feel I had treated him cordially."
"I said I was sorry he felt that way but I didn't get my sentence finished," Brewer said. "Anyway, we're glad he's here. I'll regroup."...

Complete Story Here

My Opinion: Maybe it's just my imagination in which I highly doubt but it seems as if many people, particularly Republicans/Tea Partyers aka RACIST idiots suddenly do not RESPECT the position of presidency. I feel as if she wouldn't have dared pointed her finger in BUSH's face. This is a blatantly disrespectful gesture against anyone,not only as the POTUS but as a human being. This gesture which happens to be one of the many forms of disrespect that our president has endured, sends out a message that as African Americans in America, it doesn't matter what position we hold or how much we carry ourselves in a respectful manner, we're looked down upon simply based off the color of our skin. It is very unfortunate that many will see that once a white president is back in office(not this upcoming term of course:), these actions will mysteriously STOP & the age old defense mechanism will be thrown out as a clean up method...."His race had absolutely nothing to do with anything so stop playing the race card". While I am very aware that Obama couldn't possibly break her finger or "mush" her face like a part of me wants to do to her myself, I feel that this absolutely should be addressed. Of course if he would've taken the measure of defending himself by slapping her finger away, headlines would've really tried to turn him into a monster and mess up his current campaign. Case in point, the current story listed above caters towards HER feelings and reasoning behind her actions so can you imagine if he reacted in the same manner that she did? My point is this, The racist antics with a defense of "innocence" is NOT ACCEPTABLE in 2012 & should be addressed.  

We really should speak on it and speak hard since Obama cannot. Her defense is deplorable. Her ACTIONS spoke volumes. Can you imagine her disrespecting George "DUBYA" in that manner simply because he didn't care for her book, something that's only relevant to herself and her wallet?? Never in a million years would she have done that. The heathen in me would've loved for his secret service to put her in a "nelson" or stiff arm her but I know that's not very "saved" of me so I'll stick to protesting in a "proper" manner. Get active & let your voice be HEARD against these sort of antics!

 

Happy Learning!

 

Nata Bee 

 

Did you really?

Hey You!! Yeah you! Little black girl hidden inside the dignified black woman. Did you really ever find your peace? Did you really ever find your beauty? Did you really ever accept your pretty brown skin and high up tooty?

Did you really ever smile in contentment when you looked in that mirror? Did you ever nod your head in approval & walked in nearer? Have you truly found your value? Do you really value your place or do you still play the role in order to save face?

Do you know that you are the daughter of a King and royalty is in your blood or do you ignore that and still lower your standards with men who's character is coated in mud? Did you know that your value is above rubies and that a man is supposed to pursue & find you? Did you know that your integrity is really what matters and not the price of your "red bottom" shoes?

Did you know that you attract what lays in the garden of your heart? So if you're constantly drawn to a insecure, abusive fool, stop for a minute and acknowledge your part.  It's never too late to be the person you were created to be but this means a complete renewal of your mind & rejection of what used to be.

I'm not saying that you should forsake everything and everyone you've ever known but I am saying that positive thinking and actions are REQUIRED or they'll find themselves alone.

From a woman like me to a woman like you, I'm not speaking from a place of "what I've heard", I'm speaking from what I now know and always knew. My self esteem was once so low, you would need a submarine to find it. I walked with my head bowed thinking a man was all I needed but I verbally denied it. If he screamed "Your priorities are messed up and you'll never succeed", I took that at face value, with acceptance and heed. My mouth screamed lies but my heart wondered otherwise. What if he's telling the truth? This I can't deny.

I forgot to look within and ask the ultimate friend. He knew me from the beginning and created me to WIN. 

So one day, I shook off the dust, wiped the tears, and put a stop to the pity party. I put on my big girl pants which happens to be sexy minus the naughty. My beauty comes from the value my Creator placed on me since birth. He said Nata Bee you are far from trash, you have high worth. You see I had to take you through those trials. I had to give you those tests because if I hadn't, you wouldn't be the woman you are today and STILL making progress. He said, by no means is your process finished nor have you arrived just yet so don't get all high and mighty thinking you can now rest. You see I made you to be confident, bold, beautiful, yet humble. The minute you forget that, your feet will stumble.  

So, little black girl inside the dignified woman's body, I hope you're reading this with a smile & a head that's nodding. Don't nod and applaud because the words I'm writing sound so cute. Nod and applaud thanking the Creator for his revelation and a "futuristic" new you. Nod and applaud that you will strive towards really being the woman he created you to be. Nod and applaud him for removing the scales from your eyes so you can REALLY see.

Forget about the naysayers and those that once hurt you. The BEST revenge is being better NOT bitter and striving to be the best you. You see everyone can't/won't handle who you are and what you will be so expect some to back away, expect some to flee. Growth is painful which is why many avoid doing it. Never let rejection be your guide. Instead let God take your hand to lead so you too can be anointed!

BOOM!! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:)

Happy Learning!

Nata Bee

copyright © 2012 Renate' Bender All Rights Reserved.

Dr. Martin Luther King's Legacy

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I'd like to take the time to share with each of you a few distorted facts along with the actual truth regarding each matter.

  
Claim #1: His name wasn't Martin Luther. It was Michael.

Partly true. He was christened Michael King at birth on January 13, 1929, but when he was 5 years old his father, a Baptist minister, legally changed both his own name and his son's to Martin Luther King.

Claim #2: While working on his dissertation for his doctoral degree at Boston University, he heavily plagiarized from another author who had done research on a subject similar to King's.

True. While gathering and collating King's writings for publication in the late 1980s, the editors of Stanford University's Martin Luther King, Jr. Papers Project discovered "extensive plagiarizes" in his academic papers, including his 1955 doctoral dissertation. All these instances of plagiarism had escaped detection during King's lifetime, even by his dissertation supervisors at Boston University.

Claim #2a: It was also discovered that King's famous 'I Have A Dream' speech was not his own.

Partly true. In both letter and spirit, the rousing conclusion of King's most famous speech borrows, without attribution, from one given eleven years earlier by family friend Archibald Carey at the 1952 Republican National Convention. However, the bulk of the "I Have a Dream" speech was King's own.

Claim #3: King was under FBI surveillance for several years (until he died) due to his ties with communist organizations throughout the country. King accepted money from the organizations to fund his movements.

False. While it's true that the FBI wiretapped Martin Luther King and other members of the SCLC during an ongoing investigation of alleged Communist ties, no evidence was ever found that King was a Communist sympathizer or that the SCLC received funding from Communist sources, according to King biographer David J. Garrow, who examined FBI documents released under FOIA.

Claim #4: One of King's closest friends, Rev. Ralph Abernathy, wrote a book in 1989 in which he talked about King's obsession with white prostitutes. King would often use church donations to have drunken sex parties, where he would hire two to three white prostitutes, occasionally beating them brutally.

False. Abernathy acknowledges in his autobiography that King had a "weakness for women" and indulged in extramarital affairs, but makes no mention whatsoever of "drunken sex parties" or prostitutes, and explicitly denies that King had dalliances with white women. Furthermore, Abernathy writes, far from being physically abusive, King was "always gracious and courteous to women."

Parting Thought: Dr. King was far from a "Saint" & it is my understanding that he never proclaimed himself to be one. He simply was a man who had a powerful vision that was chosen by God to bring about this vision. The issue that I have with society is that it often places unrealistic expectations and labels on people who are called by Christ. Instead of worshiping Christ & seeing him in the man, some simply worship the man. I am so glad that God looks at our heart to judge us in contrast to man looking at outward appearances. I am a believer of Jesus Christ and I know that he often calls forward the people in society that are considered the "outcasts" & "weakest". Dr. King had faults and shortcomings just like every other human being on this earth & while he fell short as a man, it in no way takes away from the powerful revolution that he ignited. His efforts are still referenced 50 years later and by no means will his dream die because I believe that our Creator was on his side. I am by no means swayed by learning that he was "imperfect" because it is universally acknowledged and generally accepted yet some of us still expect perfection from each other. Some of us are so easily DISTRACTED that we develop "selective amnesia" & immediately forget about the good that was brought forth when we've heard about the bad. Yes, we all are held accountable for every word and action by our Creator and that's the key word of the day, Creator. I've often battled with magnifying my faults whenever I am about to write my motivational messages but am quickly reminded by the Holy Spirit to stop repeatedly condemning myself and never allow another person to place me in bondage by doubting my calling simply because they are limited in their vision. It's nothing but a distraction, so press forward in what I'm calling you to do, so pressing FORWARD is what I will continue to do. I leave you with this, It should come as no surprise that some of the most charismatic people can be deeply flawed. There are no myths to debunk, just eyes to be opened a little wider.

Happy Learning!

Nata Bee

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

*See personal commentary following the below article.*

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

by
Yashar Ali

You're so sensitive. You're so emotional. You're defensive. You're overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You're crazy! I was just joking, don't you have a sense of humor? You're so dramatic. Just get over it already!
Sound familiar?
If you're a woman, it probably does.
Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?
When someone says these things to you, it's not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling -- that's inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, "Calm down, you're overreacting," after you just addressed someone else's bad behavior, is emotional manipulation, pure and simple.
Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction -- whether it's anger, frustration, sadness -- in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren't rational or normal.
My friend Anna (all names changed to protect privacy) is married to a man who feels it necessary to make random and unprompted comments about her weight. Whenever she gets upset or frustrated with his insensitive comments, he responds in the same, defeating way, "You're so sensitive. I'm just joking."
But gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, "You're so sensitive," to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, the speaker is making a judgment about how someone else should feel.
Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men.
It's a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don't refuse our burdens as easily. It's the ultimate cowardice.
No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them.
They say, "I'm sorry," before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings.
You know how it looks: "You're late :)"

But isn't the issue of gaslighting ultimately about whether we are conditioned to believe that women's opinions don't hold as much weight as ours? That what women have to say, what they feel, isn't quite as legitimate?

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I am sure that the above article hits home for alot of women, myself included which is why I decided to share it. I agree completely & feel that as women we should learn to trust ourselves aka intuition more. We should get to a point where we actually embrace who we are and what we represent as a gender. So many of us need to stop lying to ourselves about our own situation but suddenly developing clear vision towards another woman's situation. We must be mature enough to see not only another person's situation but our own situation clearly. There's no need to talk about the next woman being silly and "gaga" over a man that doesn't appreciate or respect her when if some of us are actually honest with ourselves, we're in the same scene. It may not be the same cast but definitely the same scene. OK now that I've expressed that I'll go on to say that we should never allow a man or individual to manipulate, ignore and demean our feelings in the name of sparing their feelings and ego. You teach a person how to treat you. I'm sure most of us KNOW this but how many can say that we actually live it? How many of us can actually say we stick to our guns not only through our WORDS and RANTS but MOST importantly ACTIONS...when we think noone is watching? Lets actually respect ourselves by being consistent and honest about connecting with individuals that we respect and they actually respect us back. Now, I do not live by the creed of intentionally hurting another person's feelings without due cause. At one point I tried to live by this creed so much that I didn't draw the line and had difficulty distinguishing if I had a right to feel a certain way about different things or if I simply was overreacting. I didn't trust myself so it caused me to be taken advantage of in past relationships and friendships. This is what I allowed so the only person to blame was myself.  I am  now at a point where I could care less if a person doesn't like my need and privilege..(yep I said it) to verbally and physically defend my feelings while expressing my needs and opinions. I've learned that I was able to receive this from others quite well but for a long time I didn't feel as if I was worthy enough to acknowledge my own which caused so much built up resentment and we all know that's unhealthy. So in conclusion I'd like to tell every women & young lady that reads this, DEMAND YOUR RESPECT DOLL!! Life is too short & valuable to be someones doormat. Life is too short to be unhappy because you don't want to be "alone". Lonely is a state of mind. Do you know how many people in the world that are actually married yet lonely? The answer is not a relationship with a mindset like that. The answer is developing a high self esteem. Let's get it together. As a former "doormat" I am here to tell you that some relationships whether platonic or romantic will be destroyed when you pursue this journey but PLEASE know that while initially it'll hurt like hell, you will start to experience a joy so overwhelming that you will wonder why you were so blind in the first place to the antics and what actually attracted you to those type of people in the first place. You'll then pat yourself on the back for actually seeing the journey through. Take note that people who rarely see things through, are almost always unhappy.  There is nothing more liberating than actually being "over it" with no regrets because regrets only come when there is ingenuity and tainted morals in the equation. You my dear will by no means have any qualms in that area. They on the other hand...most definitely will. Manipulators and Liars will almost always have a shaken conscious whether it's today or years from today because no matter how many deceitful words are spoken, time will ALWAYS tell the truth & we all know that the truth can hurt. Thanks for reading!

Happy Learning,

Nata Bee